tsinredom maerd

Moving Away
We lie awake in our beds
Minds astray from thoughts in our heads
To ponder, to ponder of yearning wonder
To long, to belong on another's shoulder

Stay today
Thank tomorrow
To know the feeling of one's own sorrow

But yesterday passes today's current
Then what's to come the day after?


Modernist Dreaming is so yesterday.
So, I'm moving.
I'm running to watch cookies fall.
Ask if you're curious, and maybe I just might tell.

PS: Hello from Bora Bora, the sunsets are amazing.

Little Star - Stina Nordenstam Little star
So you had to go
You must have wanted him to know
You must have wanted the world to know
Poor little thing
And now they know

Little star
I had to close my eyes
There was a fire at the warehouse
They're always waiting for a thing like this
Came traveling from all over town
For you, little star

Little star
So you had to go
You must have wanted him to know
You must have wanted the world to know
Poor little thing
And now they know

Laudamus adoramus te domine
Laudamus benedicimus domine deus
Laudamus benedicimus domine deus
Cum sancto spiritu in gloria dei patris

[We praise, we worship you, Lord
We praise, we pray to you Lord God
We praise, we pray to you Lord God
With the Holy Spirit in the glory of God the Father]

For you, little star

"This Grudge" - Alanis Morrisette


Fourteen years
Thirty minutes
Fifteen seconds I've
Held this grudge

Eleven songs
Four full journals
Thoughts of punishment
I've expended

Not in contact
Not a letter
Such communication
Telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece
Of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now
With an antique knot in her stomach?

(chorus)
I want to be big and let go
Of this grudge that's grown old
All this time I've not known
How to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
Clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Like an abandoned house
Dusty covered
Furniture
Still intact
If I visit it now
Will I simply re-live it
Somehow gratuitous

But who's still aching now?
Who's tired of her own voice?
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healing

(chorus)

Maybe as I cut the cord
Veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
Dead weight off my shoulders will rise

Here I sit
Much determined
Ever ill-equipped
To draw this curtain
How this has entertained
Validated
And has served me well
Ever the victim

But who's done whining now?
Who's ready to put down
This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember

(chorus)

So pure - Alanis Morrisette



you from new york
you are so relevant
you reduce me to
cosmic tears

luminous more so than
most anyone
unapologetically alive
knot in my stomach and
lump in my throat

(chorus}
i love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure
such an expression
i love you when you dance when you freestyle in trance
so pure
such an expression

supposed former infatuation junkie
i sink three pointers and you wax
poetically

(chorus}

let's grease the wheel over tea
let's discuss things in confidence
let's be outspoken
let's be ridiculous
let's solve the world's problems

(chorus}

so pure

B line
A B line refers to the direction in which a bee flys after gathering nectar. Bees use the sun to navigate their way around and when they are ready to return to the hive they fly in a straight line back. This is why when someone is trying to get to their destination quickly they are said to be "making a B line".

hi, i just found myself on The Album Leaf's youtube video when they played in singapore. so awesome, so funny, so embarrassing.

Excuse me Mr. Minister, how does the example of 'sparing no effort', help your case?

In your own words, "and found they can't find the person."
[03:17]


As safe and secure our citizens are led to believe of our own country, the incident is a clear indication at the failure of command and security which has led to this timely event. A distraction from the raising inflated economy, which is really IMO the story of the moment.

With this obvious complacency of the security system, I strongly propose that heads must roll for this incident, and I'm not just saying a 2LT who happened to be on duty or even a Defence Chief, but the resignation of a Minister.

Too chicken? Just take a look at the seppuku honor in the Japanese ministerial system. Lest you/we forget, you already earn more in a day what many of us receive in a year.

PS: And pls CNA, stop sucking up. Woah, wat a boost of confidence when I hear my fellow citizens concur with seeing so many men in uniform. Thank you, I feel so safe already.at [05:45]

I must have woken up on the lousy side of bed today.

For some reason, I woke to near every doldrum-atic emotion; despair, moodiness, anxiety, uninspired, depressed, unaccomplished, de-spirited, melancholic, deflated... sorry can you just fill in the blanks here... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Some days are just like that. I guess.

:-|

Guys, chalking it up to another one of our anthems, but then again, if it ain't broke, don't ...

Fix You - Coldplay


When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse?

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worst?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

You know, I don't know alot of things.
I just keep one foot ahead of the other, in what scientists coin as controlled falling.
And why? We just do, don't we? Unsure of the next step's bringing, only to imagine that the next plant of foot keeps us balanced. And yet why? Why? Why not?

And intrinsically, that is called hope.

1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.
2. a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.
3. grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery.
4. a person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her last hope.
5. something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constant hope.

1. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
2. to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory.

1. to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring.
2. Archaic. to place trust; rely (usually fol. by in).

1. hope against hope, to continue to hope, although the outlook does not warrant it: We are hoping against hope for a change in her condition.
   

Hope for a better day, hope for love, hope for life, hope for food, hope for peace, hope for patience, hope for kindness, hope for understanding, hope for... You fill in the blanks.

And for today, tomorrow, the day after... the next right foot, left foot, right foot... I will be hoping for hope.

Life is Wonderful
Words & Music By Jason Mraz

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen it takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I’m saying
It takes a thought to make a word
It takes some words to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

A La La La La La La La Life is wonderful
A La La La La La La La Life goes full circle
A La La La La La La La Life is wonderful
A la la la la…

It takes a night to make it dawn
It takes day to make you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other
It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

A La La La La La La La Life is wonderful
A La La La La La La La Life goes full circle
A La La La La La La La Life is wonderful
A la la la la…
It is so…….
It is so…….

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

A La La La La La La La Life is wonderful
A La La La La La La La Life goes full circle
A La La La La La La La Life is wonderful
A La La La Life is meaningful.
La La La La La La La And life is wonderful
La La La La La La La

It is so wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful

"Our songs are on the average 39 percent scratching,
and 5 to 8 percent keyboard
The rest of the percent, is ah
bobbing my head up and down."

On separate occasions, A told B and C something that D said.

Then B and C sang to A independently of each other...

Hello, I've been reminded to update this thing again.

ill Again
I woke one morning with an itchy throat, which turned to some throat infection the next sunrise. The prescription of anti-biotics, cough syrup, runny nose capsules and dexamethasone. (Dexter who?! You ask?) knocked me out an entire day.

Dexamethasone, a corticosteroid, is similar to a natural hormone produced by your adrenal glands. It often is used to replace this chemical when your body does not make enough of it. It relieves inflammation (swelling, heat, redness, and pain) and is used to treat certain forms of arthritis; skin, blood, kidney, eye, thyroid, and intestinal disorders (e.g., colitis); severe allergies; and asthma. Dexamethasone is also used to treat certain types of cancer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dexamethasone

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/medmaster/a682792.html

Wolfie reminded me that this would've been the 4th time (or more) in the last 8 weeks that I've been ill.

Of Maternal Instincts
Well, lets see. Mom told me as I was heading out the door that I looked way too skinny recently.

"Why you so skinny ah?!... Are you sick?... How come ah?!... Never cook for you is it?..."
"Maybe I'm suffering from some disease or something and I'm dying."
"Dying ah, is it? Ok I buy you some vitamins from GNC. I have a voucher!"
"Orh. Ok."

And as I stepped into my room this evening (morning) after not being home for the last 2 days, 2 bottles of "GNC Mega Men - Dietary Supplement" sits on my desk. Woh! Guess I'm gonna be so manly soon lor! Mega at best.

Toh tweet.

Meeting Famous People
Recommended for a job, I assisted a great photographer for a fashion / advertising shoot and got to meet some famous tv people. Google only returned ones' blog, and this potato can't read half of it. The other, well I just can't believe how much time folks have on their hands.

They were both awesomely friendly and stunningly gorgeous in real life.

Wanting to be a Gangster
After watching American Gangster. Well, I'm not saying I'd love to ruin people's lives with putting heroin on the streets but $250 million in seized assets is a lot of money I want to die buried with. I don't care what they say, it's coming with me to the next realm.

I've been reading again
Well, a silly book actually. Name this movie...

Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen bee is their slave

Too vague?

I know this because Tyler knows this

P.S: I truly love hauntingly sad songs
Sigur Rós - Njosnovelin (The nothing song)

"In recent years, the IMF-World Bank meetings have been marked by public protests.

In 2006, host nation Singapore refused to lift its long-standing ban on protests and demonstrations.

This is a recording of the only act of public defiance during the IMF-WB meetings in Singapore."

Speakers Cornered

http://singaporerebel.blogspot.com/

Sometime ago I met with an old friend. We grew up as teenagers in school, where we exchanged snail mail letters which expressed our angst filled minds of the day. These letters, with lyrics to bands we loved, once a demo of a song I wrote and words of emotions and doldrumatic wonders, still sit in a shoe box under my bed today.

We chatted on phones and waited for each other to cook instant noodles, so we could both eat together through the copper lines, listening to slurps of soup and lines from Mad About You and Seinfeld. As we grew, our aspirations grew imagined - partying at Ibiza, getting high on grass, travelling the sand lands, being a a rock star, swigging alcohol from canteens in back pockets or simply just getting on with life.

There wasn't much chance to have a serious conversation that evening, but when we did have that one chance - we chatted about our places in our lives today. And I see now, that the topic couldn't have been more timely and important to have seeked us... The one important advice she gave me was, "Don't forget yourself. Remember who you are, where you came from and where you're going. Don't forget yourself."

Well frankly as everyday passes, I see myself losing sight of who I was, who I used to be, who I wanted to be and who I am;

I was a boy scout.
I was in NCC.
I was from a Neighbourhood school
I was in the last ranked class in our cohort.
I was in Design School.
I was awarded a finalist place in an inter-continental design invite.
I used to be angry.
I used to bother about going to church.
I used to want to belong to the Black Brigade.
I used to lust for vanity in awards.
I used to have an esteem in expressing my opinionated views very much.
I used to criticize everything I thought was a joke.
I used to date a Muslim.
I used to date a Christian.
I used to be on the top of my game.
I used to have an edge.
I used to have an esteem in expressing my opinionated views very much. Did I already mention this?
I used to be at the top of my Design School.
I used to have long discourses with mates over films we had just watched.
I used to know what working towards marriage was.
I wanted to be an Architect.
I wanted to be a design superstar.
I wanted to settle in Melbourne.
I wanted to be a motion designer. Yes pass motion, but not shitting.
I wanted to be an award winning media artist.

Ask if you may - "then why have you forgone all those hopes and dreams?" I shall say that, life is humbling me. And I will be the first to admit that I was a 'Yaya Papaya' who would have probably turned most off with a corky arrogance of self-confidence. And as these days pass, I realise growing up as a corky boy has humbled me today to the point that I have lost my self-esteem and confidence in who I am. I know my life has been very much a bed of roses to most, but... just but... I've lost my self confidence, my edge, my drive. Yet why? Just knowing, that life flips and flops every which way it may, with no dealing of concern of your intents.

I was...
I used to...
I wanted to...
I am...
...skinny.

Well, that was what she said too that night. "You look thin and a bit sickly. How come you lost so much weight?"

60.7kg today. That is what the scale said. Still within BMI by the way.

But for today, tomorrow and maybe the day after....perhaps that is the reason, for losing an inclination of who I was, who I used to be, what I wanted to be and the lost of all hope. That the damn reason is the lost in weight! And that is why. For now.

P.S:
She asked, "So what do you want to do?"
This... that.. and this... I say.
She replies kindly, "Then go do it!"

It is 0726hrs on the 1st of January 2008.

I am finally home after a night / morning out with friends. My hair is damp from a shower, while my head is spinning from, yeah you know what. I just returned from the porcelein throne from, yeah you know that too - puking my insides out.

What has 2007 taught me? Well, if you have been following... a hell of a lot and I typically ignore calls to new year resolutions, because honestly who the fuck keeps them? But I think it is a telling tale, to have learnt something on the opening hours of the new year, of which you are so wishing to bring better fortune to ones'-self.

(ok this is a lie now, I saved this entry and continued this afternoon at 4)

We counted the year in at Accountant Jay's Pink celebration, suffice to say we all had too much to drink. Alot of the night escapes me now, but we did manage to catch a glimpse or two of the explosions in the sky ;-) heh - fireworks across from Marina Bay. I don't know why, but I was frantically SMSing every1 in my phone book a templated NY greeting.

At some point, we ended up at MOS, and I was probably behaving like an idiot, slurring speech, tripping over pretending to be cool and sober (which perhaps explains the bruises on my body this morning). But I kept to my motto - No one will fucking remember you tomorrow and did whatever I did. We eventually left at 5ish and discovered the maddening busy taxi lines (human line + phone line)  - Busy, On Call, Change Shift. Brilliant, no ride home and to add lemon smits - no MRT till 630am. We all eventually parted ways - a couple got a cab, another couple went for breakfast and a biker strode off to his wheels. And I, a long wait with other revellers in the train station.

Lesson 1: Don't give a fuck and just drive if you can on NYE / NYD.
We decided not to drive this year, expecting ourselves to succumb to the NYE's drinks. This really law abiding move, caused me to stay awake till 0627am for the first MRT train. So guys, someone's gotta be the designated driver next time on a night like this.

Lesson 2:
Well to cut to the chase, as I was sitting my ass by my lonesome on the floor of the train, spinning from nausea, listening to my iPod to distract myself from the BO of those around me and fighting the urge to paint the floor with my puke, I realised this.

Take care of ones-self, for no one else should be accountable to your well being. If you end up caring for someone or have the fortune to receive care, always remember to be there for each other. Else we're all just plain, alone and unentertained singles.

This post probably had a lot more poignancy in my head as I was realising all this, feeling the morning wind on my face as I trodded home from the train station (yet strangely fighting the urge to puke), when with great relevancy the following track came up on my playlist...

First breathe after coma - explosions in the sky

Apt. To me.
mp3 available here (right click ,save as) http://broadcasterhouse.com/earful/explosionsgreyeagle/01.%20first%20breath%20after%20coma.mp3

Get the full setlist here:
http://broadcasterhouse.com/2007/12/22/explosions-in-the-sky-invade-the-grey-eagle/

And I am going to miss them to sold out tickets even they are in Melbourne this year!

Good bye '07, in more ways than one.

... we now return you to your regularly scheduled programme...

From Wikipedia:
The Phrase - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_%2B_two_%3D_five
The phrase "two plus two makes five" (or "2 + 2 = 5") is sometimes used as a succinct and vivid representation of an illogical statement, especially one made and maintained to suit an ideological agenda.

The Song - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_%2B_2_%3D_5_(song)
"2 + 2 = 5 (The Lukewarm.)" is a song by English alternative rock band Radiohead, released as the third and last single from their sixth album Hail to the Thief in 2003 (see 2003 in British music). Its lyrics include the album's title. The song's title "2 + 2 = 5" recalls the symbol of unreality from George Orwell's novel Nineteen Eighty-Four.^[1] In the book, inhabitants of an authoritarian future state are made to engage in doublethink, replacing their own conscience and beliefs with those imposed from above. At the end of the novel, the protagonist's individuality is demolished, as he avows that two and two are, in fact, five. The song contains similar inaccuracies including January bringing April showers, also a possible reference to Yorke's fears of climate change.
2+2=5 (The Lukewarm), Radiohead




Are you such a dreamer
To put the world to rights?
I'll stay home forever
Where two and two always makes a five

I'll lay down the tracks
Sandbag and hide
January has April's showers
And two and two always makes a five

It's the devil's way now
There is no way out
You can SCREAM and you can shout
It is too late now



Because...
You have not been!

Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
You have not been paying attention

Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
You have not been paying attention

Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention
You have not been paying attention

Payin' attention
Payin' attention
Payin' attention

I try to sing along
But I get it all wrong
'Cause I’m not
'Cause I’m not

I swat 'em like flies but like flies the buggers keep coming back NOT
But I’m not

All hail to the thief
All hail to the thief

But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not
But I'm not

Don't question my authority or put me in the box
'Cause I'm not
'Cause I'm not

Oh go and tell the king that the sky is falling in

When it's not
But it's not
But it's not
Maybe not
Maybe not